Lisa

Lisa, to so many, you’ve meant so much
Everyone you know has received your touch
You show Jesus to the masses
Whether doing announcements
Or teaching classes

You call me to a deeper level of living
By watching you and seeing your giving
Your humble spirit and tender heart
Convict me to do my part

To live out of that place deep inside
That is present to people and doesn’t hide
To love people well and share the truth
Of God, there is no greater proof

Even when life’s seasons change
There’s one thing that still remains
Even though we’re miles apart
We can still be close in our heart.

Feelings

At aerobics today, as the teacher was leading us she was talking about going to the doctor yesterday with her son. She said her son needed a procedure that would hurt. What she did was she bought him a bag of licorice (his favorite treat) and gave him half before the appointment and told him if he didn’t cry, he would get the other half. Now, I don’t know how old her son is, but it got me to wondering. Why do we do these things with our children? Why do we teach, especially boys not to cry? Is it discipline they’re learning or are they learning how to stuff their feelings? I know that as adults we can’t go through life crying every time we’re hurt, we have to learn to manage our feelings, but what is the healthy balance and how do we teach it to our children?

As usual, I have more questions than answers. I do know that Jesus cried and He cried in front of others. He felt and showed all His feelings (compassion, hurt, joy, grief, etc.) not just some of them or the ones that were considered “good”. I believe it’s good to feel and express feelings; however, we must not be ruled by them. We must learn to manage our emotions and feelings. There are appropriate feelings and appropriate times in which to express them.

When I was very young, I was taught to stuff feelings, the bad ones anyway. Some of the bad ones for me as a girl were: anger, hurt, disappointment, frustration, depression, sadness and grief. When I would feel any of these, the feelings were minimized and I was told “the person who hurt me didn’t mean it”, “don’t think about it”, “don’t worry about it”, all of these types of messages. I got rewarded if I didn’t cry when I got a shot at the Dr’s office when I was very young. When I was older 12 or so, I got a dollar every time I went to the Dentist when I had to have a procedure requiring several visits. When I was 13 or 14 my mom thought I was pregnant from fooling around with the boys at the farm in the hay loft. When in fact I was just smoking cigarettes with them and escaping my cousin in the house so I wouldn’t get put to work. After the Dr’s appointment that required a pelvic exam (my first!) and a pregnancy test that turned out to be negative, my mom didn’t say she was sorry, she didn’t say anything really, she just brought me to the mall and bought me a pair of moccasins (my favorite shoes) from the expensive store instead of the discount store.

As an adult those rules of “bad” feeling verses “good” feelings still linger in me. I used drugs at a very young age and I kept using them for 23 years. Now, 10 years later, I still have a very hard time naming, recognizing and expressing my feelings. I also have a hard time having conversations around uncomfortable topics or when I need to humble myself because I was wrong, those types of things. I tend to want to buy people that I’ve hurt presents and reward people for doing hard things.

My original question remains: Why do we teach these things to our children?

God’s Gift

The Lord sent me a Valentine,
Whose love forever will be mine.
He will mold and shape us into one,
And guide our steps with His Son.

I never thought I’d learn to trust,
Or experience love instead of lust,
God worked to soften both our hearts,
And then our love got it’s start.

You look in my eyes and I begin to melt,
And feel these feelings I’ve never felt.
Bill, you’re God’s gift in this life of mine,
My true love, my soul mate, my Valentine.

Everything I Have

Everything I have, from You I’ve received,
There’s nothing in my life that I’ve conceived.
Yet, I call them mine and firmly cling
To possessions that don’t mean a thing.

My life, my marriage, my job and home
All these things I do not own.
They are yours entrusted to me
To be my responsibility.

Giving these things the honor they’re due
Brings more blessings flowing down from You
Being faithful with less, much more is given
If unfaithful, what I have will be taken.

So I offer to You my everyday stuff
Knowing that just having You is enough
All I have is Yours, all I know is You
I strive to honor You in all I do.

Blind Spot

Temptation was lurking in my blind spot
Before I knew it, I was caught
I never saw it comin’, it was hiding in plain sight,
I was deceived, brought down without a fight.

So, I was caught
Caught in my blind spot
Not knowing it was there
Totally unaware

Of our blind spots we need to be aware
Because satan’s attacks happen there
We have blind spots when driving a car
But, we adjust our mirrors to see far

Don’t be caught
Caught in your blind spot
Not knowing it’s there
Totally unaware

These mirrors are God given tools
The use of them, has no rules
Use them as God leads
According to your needs

So you won’t be caught
Caught in your blind spot
Not knowing it was there
Totally unaware

Our relationship and in our time alone
With God, it will be shown
How to use and adjust
The mirrors He’s given us

So don’t be caught
Reveal that blind spot
Know it’s there
Be totally aware

God will show us what we can’t see
Follow His guidance to be free.
Widen your sight line, broaden your view
Hold tight to Jesus, He’s holdin’ tight to you.

Life of Victory

Sun that melts ice on a spring day,
Is the same sun that hardens clay.
The rain that causes flowers to grow,
That same rain makes rivers overflow.

The sun and rain fall without favor,
From this, we learn of our Savior
His justice and mercy are equal to all
No matter how big, or how small.

Everyone’s life has different seasons,
At different times, for different reasons.
Some days have sun, others rain
But God loves us all the same.

They serve a purpose, each of these times,
This is the way God chooses to refine.
He refines our character so we can be
People living a life of victory.

My Prayer

Every thought, word and deed I do
May it bring honor and glory to You
For all I am or ever will be
Is what You form me to be.

For I am limited in this body of mine
Limited by ability, space and time
There is nothing that limits You
Only what I allow You to do

My prayer is that I open my heart
To the Holy Spirit to do Your part
For me to work on what I’m shown
So in my life, Your glory is known.

I want my life to be one of worship to You
One that I live faithful and true
In humble surrender and offering
All I have and know is the sacrifice I bring.
To you, my Lord and King.

Free

You mended my broken heart,
When it was torn apart.
Because of the work You’ve done in me,
From my bondages I’m now free.

Layer by layer You peel them away,
You show them to me and You say
“My child it’s time to face this one,
The healing process has begun.”

You refine me so tenderly,
From the inside You’re changing me
Free of bitterness, money and it’s chains.
The hold of unforgiveness and the pain

Every obedient step I take in the light,
Matures and blesses me with new insight
Day by day, hour by hour
I see the release of Your power.

These blessings from You that I receive
I put on the altar as a seed