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Circle of Light


Bill gave me a birthday card today and inside he wrote: “God was super happy the day He made you, because He knew your whole story from beginning to end and He couldn’t wait to tell it” 

That was the most beautiful thing anybody has ever said to me. It made me cry and I’m still thinking about it. And it’s true, God does know my story. 

“Lord, you have examined me and know all about me. You know when I sit down and when I get up. You know my thoughts before I think them. You know where I go and where I lie down. You know everything I do. Lord, even before I say a word, You already know it. You are all around me—in front and in back—and have put Your hand on me. Your knowledge is amazing to me; it is more than I can understand. All the days planned for me were written in Your book before I was one day old.” Psalm 139:1-6; 16b 

I find this very reassuring. It’s helpful and hopeful for me to know that yes, He knows my story and I don’t and frankly I don’t want to. I think if I would’ve known my story 30 or 40 years ago I would’ve been so overwhelmed I wouldn’t want to live it. I probably would’ve said “just kill me now” 

Do you know why God knows my story? Because He’s the author, He’s the one writing it, not me. It’s good for me to realize and remember that I’m not in control, I don’t see the big picture and I don’t know how my story intertwines with everyone else’s. Yes, I have free will but I’m still pretty powerless. I didn’t have control when I fell on my face last year in AZ and that’s just one example, there are so many other things I can’t control. It’s just an illusion to think I can. It’s better when I realize this and give myself over to it and walk in His will. And when I do this is what He does: He takes His spot light and shines it a few feet in front of me and I step into it; all I know is the light I’m standing in. It’s dark all around and in the darkness there comes another light, a few feet in front of me and I step into it and then I see what it shows me. Sometimes the circle is several feet in front of me and it’s dark in between where I’m standing and the circle of light. However, it’s never total darkness because the light illuminates the space a little. But, nevertheless there are times that I have to go through darkness to reach the light. Those are sometimes periods of  grief and character building.

It’s revealed to me, this life of mine a little at a time. One circle of light at a time; the rest is darkness. And that’s why I’m not in control. 

Praise God.


  1. Those words just came to me this morning as I considered what to write… so they probably weren’t mine. 🙂
    Anyways it was and is true. I am grateful to be a part of your story, His story.

    • Rev. Sandra Jewell

      In 6 days I am relocating to AZ for 12 months. I have contracted with a not-for-profit to provide project development. I am in my later years and God has called me to this work.

      In reading your post today, I found a lot of reassurance. LET ME TELL YOU WHY. I was developing a handout that was entitle: IF YOU DIED TODAY, ARE YOUR SURE WHERE YOUR SOUL WOULD SPEND ETERNITY. I first listed Romans 6:23 (THE WAGES OF SIN IS DEATH…), then ROMANS 3:23(all have sinned and come short…).

      Although I have posed this question to groups and individuals in the past,I was not where to go next. What I was sure of is that I would not use the same scriptures I have used in the past. So I then began to get quiet and listen for His guidance.

      Somehow my eyes fell on your blog. After reading it, I knew the Lord is leading me in my next ministry ventures and in writing the handout. The message of your blog was so reassuring that I am led to ensure whatever I handout will be as warm and inviting as your thoughts.

      He leadth me. Blessings


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