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Crazy Love

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I was challenged during a study of the book and workbook by Francis Chan “Crazy Love”. We did two chapters most weeks and one week was on “Lukewarm” and “Leftovers”. These are some of the questions I was presented with:

Am I giving leftover sacrifices to God?

Am I lukewarm or am I totally on fire for Him?

Do I love Him with my entire body, soul and mind?

Am I like the poor woman who gave two coins for an offering but yet she gave more than anyone else because that’s all she had?

Am I like the man who invites only the people to dinner who can invite him back? He doesn’t invite the poor who can do nothing for him.

Am I like this man? Yes, I am. I’m like this man. It convicted me and for a while made me question my salvation, I started thinking I wasn’t good enough, that I had to try harder; I started to get filled thoughts of all the things I “should” be doing. As quickly as these thoughts came into my mind I recognized them for what they were: a lie and I needed to get rid of them quickly. I needed to replace them with the truth: I serve a God of grace and as long as my motivation is right there’s grace for me, I am covered. I don’t have to be perfect, I will never be perfect, I don’t have to perform a certain way I just have to have the right heart. My previous Pastor and friend had a favorite saying “look down at your feet, what direction are they pointing?” As long as they’re pointing forward and I’m moving in the right direction, that’s all that matters. It doesn’t matter that I haven’t arrived or I’m not moving as fast as someone else. What matters is if I’m moving and pointed in the right direction and not parked on the side of the road.

So it just depends on my heart and I need to remember that, it’s not what I “do”. I know that I can do nothing outside of Jesus. He has to give me the strength for everything. I can’t even love Him unless He gives me that love. There’s nothing I can do outside of Him. He has to change me. He has to work through me to accomplish these things. He has to do this in me. I can’t do it; it can’t come from me because if it does it will fail.

My prayers have changed; I pray for increased desire and love for Jesus and the world, increased strength and to walk through life seeing and hearing as He would. I pray that He will give me His thoughts, words, will, emotions and take mine from me. That’s all I need to do; change my prayers, keep my heart and motivation right and my feet pointed in the right direction.

 

 



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