Life of Victory

Sun that melts ice on a spring day,
Is the same sun that hardens clay.
The rain that causes flowers to grow,
That same rain makes rivers overflow.

The sun and rain fall without favor,
From this, we learn of our Savior
His justice and mercy are equal to all
No matter how big, or how small.

Everyone’s life has different seasons,
At different times, for different reasons.
Some days have sun, others rain
But God loves us all the same.

They serve a purpose, each of these times,
This is the way God chooses to refine.
He refines our character so we can be
People living a life of victory.

New Life

In the air, there’s a feeling of spring,
A time when every living thing
Seems to awaken to new life and beauty
I’m feeling the same is true for me.

The road I’m on has been long,
But the journey made me strong
I see the end now in sight
I again, draw on Your might.

I take comfort in Your love,
And ask You to give me a shove
The change You’re prompting me to make,
Is a step I don’t want to take.

In my flesh, it seems so hard,
My heart feels tattered and scarred,
I want to protect it from further pain,
Even though I know, new life I’ll gain

Take my hand and come with me,
From this bondage, You’ll set me free,
Your healing hands will bind my pain,
With You, I’ll stand and remain

The Pit

You were there when I was numb
When I was lost.
When I didn’t know where to find…..
me.

I didn’t know where to look.
Going through the motions
seemed so hard.
My struggles just brought
me deeper in the pit.

But, no pit is deeper
than the arm of God.
And You were there.
You met me in my pit,
and sat with me awhile.
And we cried together.
We mourned my losses:
-of hope
-of the future
that “my mind” had planned,
and realized that You directed my path.

Your plans are better than mine,
Your thoughts are higher than mine.
And I put my hand in Yours,
and You are bringing me out of that pit.
And I know there is glorious sunshine at the end.

However long it takes
However many rocks are in my path,
we will go hand in hand
and I will trust You
and follow You completely.
For You know me
and even though You know,
You love me!

Freeze Tag

(Please see my article “He Touched Me” for part one.)

One Sunday my Pastor’s sermon was called “Freeze Tag”. When you were a kid, did you ever play the game freeze tag? It’s just like playing tag, one person is “it” and runs around, trying to tag the others, the only difference is once you are tagged, you must freeze in that position. You remain that way until one of the other people that aren’t “it” come and touch you and unfreeze you, then you are free to run around again. Well my life related to this game of freeze tag, as I’m sure many other’s do. At a point in my life I was touched and frozen. The part of me that was frozen didn’t grow up and also didn’t want to feel because of the pain I was trying to avoid. I needed to find ways to numb my feelings. People get frozen for different reasons, either for one reason or for a combination of reasons. I think mine was a combination. I had really low self-esteem and self worth; I had what I call a “soil of shame” and a “root of rejection”. These were brought into my life for various reasons.

“…For you shall forget the shame of your youth…” Isaiah 54:4

When I heard the sermon Freeze Tag something happened inside of me. Monday, I decided to quit smoking pot, I was going to call my Pastor and speak with him about the sermon and realized Monday was his day off. I didn’t call him that day and I didn’t quit drugs, but I did only smoke one joint (instead of the usual 8!). Tuesday came and I got up my nerve and called my Pastor. He was so gracious! I poured it all out, I told him all the things I was ashamed of and how helpless I was to stop on my own. I just wanted to live for Jesus-completely! He talked to me about my concerns of quitting and starting a new life, he prayed with me and that was the day I quit!

“Confess to one another therefore your faults (your slips, your false steps, your offenses, your sins) and pray [also] for one another, that you may be healed and restored [to a spiritual tone of mind and heart]. The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available [dynamic in its working].” James 5:16 AMP

Once you’re frozen in life, you need a touch to get defrosted just like in the game. The difference being in the game anyone other than the person that is “it” can touch you, but in life, it has to be Jesus. He comes and touches that frozen part of you and you’re defrosted. That part of you is now allowed to grow and to feel. It’s a difficult process. Even if you are supernaturally delivered like I was from the addictive substance, there are still a lot of things you have to do in the aftermath of it. For me, the part that was frozen was my emotions; I truly didn’t know how to feel, or what I was feeling. Making decisions was hard; I didn’t know what my opinions were. I cried very easily because my emotions were right on the surface. I wasn’t used to feeling, so when I did feel it was really intense.

“Now Jesus was teaching in one of the synagogues on the Sabbath. And there was a woman there who for eighteen years had had an infirmity caused by a spirit (a demon of sickness). She was bent completely forward and utterly unable to straighten herself up or to look upward. And when Jesus saw her, He called (her to Him) and said to her, Woman, you are released from your infirmity! Then He laid (His) hands on her and instantly she was made straight, and she recognized and thanked and praised God.” Luke 13:10-13 AMP

This sums up how Jesus touched me. I was frozen in life always looking down, unable to look up because the things of the world held me in bondage. Jesus touched me and I wasn’t frozen any more, I could look up and see Jesus, look Him right in the eye and know that He loved me, He healed me from my infirmity!

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds [curing their pains and their sorrows].” Psalm 147:3 AMP

Anyone can be used by Jesus to be “Jesus in the skin” to someone else, let Him use you today. Let Him use your former pain and shame to minister to others. Help Him set the captives free.

“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me, because the Lord has anointed Me to preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound” Isaiah 61:1 NKJV

“Instead of your [former] shame you shall have a twofold recompense…” Isaiah 61:7a AMP

“who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” II Corinthians 1:4 RSV
(Continued in my next article “The Battle Belongs to the Lord”)

You Can’t Stop Me

Last Saturday, I attended a conference sponsored by Women of God. The theme was “In His Presence”. I was within minutes of walking out the door when something happened–my power went out! I checked the circuit breaker box and it was okay, I looked outside to see if my neighbor’s had power, but I couldn’t tell.

I went to the car to leave and I couldn’t–the garage has an automatic door. I remembered if I pulled the red handle that was hanging down I could manually open the door. I pulled the handle, it disengaged, I tried to pull the door up and it wouldn’t budge. I tried and tried and tried! Finally, I went in the house and called the Power Company to see if they knew about the outage. They knew and said it would be back on sometime between 9:00 and Noon! I found myself sitting down and starting to tell myself I would just get comfortable and stay home. Then it came to me that the last thing the enemy wanted me to do was to go to this event! I figured it was going to be great. I decided nothing was going to keep me from going. I sat down, prayed and started to read my Bible, I was going to get filled with the Word and ready for my day. By 9:05 a.m. the power was on and I was on my way.

I wasn’t very late, worship had just finished. They asked us to introduce ourselves to someone near us. I told the lady I spoke with that I was expecting great and wonderful things from God. I knew something awesome was going to happen and that’s why Satan tried so hard to get me discouraged.

I was right, the conference was really terrific! I learned so much and I was so blessed by the worship and the other women. It was a wonderful day. The speakers were really good; one was a Pastor and a psychotherapist. She spoke mostly about the different coping skills and emotions that are developed by people who have been abused. She believes healing ultimately occurs through strengthening the spirit, a deepening relationship with God and healing the soul. We learned contemplative prayer, which I found to be really helpful. Contemplative prayer is when we place ourselves as the “main character” in a Bible story. I stretched out on the pew and closed my eyes as she read a Bible story. She asked us at different times how we felt, what things looked like, etc. It was a healing thing to do. I believe we’re most open to the Holy Spirit and His work in us when we are creative.

I was reminded how important it is to just sit with Jesus. Since then, I have made it a deliberate action in my day, to spend quiet time with Him. He’s my best friend and I find myself throughout the day talking with Him. He goes to work with me, grocery shopping, walking, to coffee and lunch. He goes everywhere with me. I look forward all day to spending quality alone time with Jesus, I am excited and eagerly anticipating my time with Him. I know and I’m aware of Jesus with me throughout the day, because I have set my mind to be. I’ve asked Jesus to help me to be aware and I’m changing already.

I know spending time with Jesus is not just a feeling, it is a state of my soul, and it transforms me. In His presence I am changed, my soul is refreshed and my heart is softened. Little by little, day by day, I develop the mind, heart and attitude of Jesus. I will start to manifest more and more compassion, love and humbleness, all the fruits of the Spirit will be developed in me. I have learned prayer isn’t always talking, thinking or even trying to listen, prayer can be just being open to receive whatever it is Jesus has for me. There are times He brings things up and we walk through the memory or issue together, that’s how healing happens. There are not words to describe the presence of Jesus, or the transformation He does in my soul.

“He must increase, but I must decrease. (He must grow more prominent; I must grow less so.)” John 3:30

I finally got the meaning of this Scripture, and it is so easy! I don’t know why I had such trouble with it. I’ve tried for most of my Christian life to do the things I thought I was supposed to do. For instance: crucify my flesh, seek God’s will, show the fruits of the Spirit, resist the devil, etc. When what I need is to spend time with Jesus. The Holy Spirit impressed upon me this illustration: if I have a glass with dirty water in it and I pour in fresh clean water and continue to pour water in the glass until it overflows; and I pour still more water in it, more and more and more…eventually; the glass has NO dirty water in it, JUST clean water!

“Let this same attitude and purpose and (humble) mind be in you which was in Christ Jesus” Philippians 2:5

“(Not in your own strength) for it is God who is all the while effectually at work in you (energizing and creating in you the power and desire) both to will and to work for His good pleasure and satisfaction and delight.” Philippians 2:13

All I need to do is focus on filling myself full of Him, not removing the undesirable traits that are in me. The undesirable will go when I am continually filled with Jesus. He will never leave me or forsake me, He will not quit-He will continue to transform me and finish the work He started in me. All I have to do is cooperate!

Masks

Sometimes I wonder what life’s about
Sometimes I have answers, other times I doubt.
God’s been showing me the masks I wear,
I wonder if underneath, anyone is there.

These masks have been part of me for many seasons,
I have different ones for different reasons.
I discovered them slowly – one at a time,
Found a comfortable fit and made them mine.

I wonder about the mask of pride,
If it really keeps me safe inside.
The mask of confidence – I seem so bold,
My insecurities don’t need to unfold.

The mask of coldness that I wear
Makes me look like I don’t care.
Then there’s the mask of the clown,
I wear that one when I feel down.

Some call these my coping skills
You may call them what you will.
Out of woundedness they were born,
And without them I feel torn.

I don’t know how to act or be,
Without these masks defining me.
They’ve been me such a long time,
It’s hard to tell what’s really mine.

I use them to feel accepted,
But in reality, I’m being rejected.
The acceptance that is shown to me,
Is for the me I pretend to be.

The masks must be put aside,
The real me can no longer hide.
In living falsely, peace isn’t found,
Only in truth does love abound.

We find love and truth when God is near,
Standing in His glorious atmosphere.
Seeking Him through His word, praise and prayer,
Brings the awareness that God is always there.

From glory to glory He’s changing me,
Soon the world will only see,
The me I was created to be,
As Christ gets formed in me.

Weakness Can Be Strong

We’re taught that weakness is not good,
To always be strong like we should.
But there’s a limit to what’s inside,
To how much pain that we can hide.

We go through life, stuffing and denying,
Until it comes easily, without trying.
We turn to liquor, drugs and beer,
To avoid the feelings that we fear.

Life seems good, for a while,
We learn to function and to smile.
But then one day the bottom crashes in,
And we realize this isn’t how to win.

We’ve tried and tried with all our might,
And still the end seems out of sight.
We know that we can’t do it alone,
And we turn to God to lead us home.

After we’ve been clean for some time,
Those old grievances and pain come to mind.
Now is the time that we face them head on,
Learning sometimes, weakness is really being strong.

Step 6

My prayer is for a willing heart,
I believe that’s the place to start,
Make me willing from within,
To let go of my defects and sin.

To give them to you for you to heal,
Straight-up, no strings, without a deal.
My previously developed coping skills
I now exchange for Your will.

Mold me, shape me and purify me,
Put me through the refiner’s fire.
To live a life like Jesus Christ,
This is my true desire.

The process is painful, this I know,
But, serenity is on the other side,
Your blessings You freely bestow,
To those willing to give up their pride.