Seeking to Devour

The evil one roams about looking for someone whom he can devour (1 Peter 5:8). This is his job. He does this day and night. Satan looked and found Job, and petitioned God regarding Job, God asked Satan where he had been and this was his answer (Job 1:7). Satan did it again with Peter, he looked and found Peter and asked God permission to sift Peter like wheat (Luke 22:31). This is Satan’s job. He is looking 24/7/365 for people who call themselves committed to Jesus and he wants to sift them like wheat. He is the accuser of the brethren (Rev. 12:10); he continually accuses believers before God. Satan doesn’t have to try and torment the non-Christians and destroy and devour them, he already has them, he’s only interested in people who love Jesus. He realizes the end is soon and he wants to pull down as many people as he can before it’s too late. So, he looks; and he asks God to sift us; and he sifts us. What does sifting look like? What does it feel like? Why does God say yes when He is asked? Why doesn’t God protect us? I have all these questions and I don’t have any of the answers. I get really confused when I read things like this in the Bible and I wonder…..

I think something really important for us to remember is we wrestle not with flesh and blood but with principalities and powers (Eph 6:12). It’s really easy for us to think that the circumstance or the person is our enemy when in fact it is Satan just searching and trying to trip us up because we are God’s beloved. I think Satan knew Peter was the rock that God was going to build the Church on, (Matt 16.18) and Satan wanted Peter. If Satan isn’t bothering you, perhaps you’re not a threat to him; perhaps you’re not one who will make a difference in the Kingdom. I don’t want Satan after me, yet I know if he isn’t, then I am not doing much with my life to influence others. I want to grow, change and make a difference in the Kingdom. I want to fulfill the purpose God has had for me since the beginning of time. I want, I want, I want. Yet, am I preparing myself? Am I allowing God to use this time I have to teach me, to show me, to grow me, for me to know Him, be close and walk, I mean really walk in the presence of God every moment of every day. I say that’s what I want, but is it what I’ve devoted my life, my time, my treasure, my talent, my temple to?

Satan walks the earth seeking whom he may devour, yet “the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth to show Himself strong in behalf of those whose hearts are blameless toward Him.” II Chronicles 16:8a. I want God to find me when He looks, to see me as having a blameless heart toward Him, He will show Himself strong on my behalf! God knows my name! God promises He will go before me and level the mountains (to make the crooked places straight); and He will break in pieces the doors of bronze and cut asunder the bars of iron, He will give me treasurers of darkness and hidden riches of secret places that I may know it is Him, the God of Israel Who calls me by my name! (Isaiah 45:2-3)

Here is what I need to know beyond a doubt. I need to know how to hear from God. He is my Shepherd (Psalms 23:1) and I am His sheep, I know His voice (John 10:4). But, I don’t always listen.

I found this in Isaiah today and it really spoke to me. “Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer, you shall cry, and He will say Here I am. If you take away from your midst yokes of oppression (wherever you find them), the finger pointed in scorn (judgment) and every form of false, harsh, unjust and wicked speaking.” Isaiah 58:9 This tells me the Lord will hear me and answer me IF I stop pointing the finger at others in judgment (this is something I am still really bad at doing), being critical, judgmental, etc. He will hear me and I will hear Him if I just stop doing this! Further down, verse 11: “And the Lord shall guide you continually and satisfy you in drought and in dry places and make strong your bones. And you shall be like a watered garden and like a spring of water whose waters fail not. (vs. 12) And your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt.” My ancient ruins are my past and believe me, there are ruins that could really use some rebuilding! He will make strong my bones! He will water me! He will guide me CONTINUALLY! And satisfy me in drought and dry places!!! What more could I ever want! The King of Kings, the creator and sustainer of the universe and the galaxies will guide me continually! All I have to do is stop being so judgmental, gossiping and pointing fingers, quit going my own way and seeking my own stuff and if I do this, I will delight myself in the Lord and He will take care me, He will feed me and give me the promise

Vs 13b-14 “not going your own way or seeking or finding your own pleasure or speaking with your own (idle) words. (GOSSIP), Then will you delight yourself in the Lord, and I will make you ride on the high places of the earth, and I will feed you with the heritage promised for you of Jacob your father; for the mouth of the Lord has spoken it.”

People Look Like Trees

I worked this week for four days. I haven’t worked in 6 months. I am retired. This is my on-call job, at the Church I attend. My goal for retirement was to get into ministry. So, there I was…finally doing “ministry”. I’ve wanted to work in ministry for a very long time and there I was!

Now, reflecting back, I realize I was doing my same old work habits. I get so focused on my work and what I’m doing, I forget the people around me. There were times I didn’t look up when one of them would come and get coffee. The coffee is right outside my work space, the only thing between me and the coffee pot is a big glass window. I would see someone out there or walking by and I wouldn’t look up.

It reminds me of the time Jesus healed a blind man and he was only partially healed.
“They came to Bethsaida, and some people brought a blind man and begged Jesus to touch him. He took the blind man by the hand and led him outside the village. When he had spit on the man’s eyes and put his hands on him, Jesus asked, “Do you see anything?”
He looked up and said, “I see people; they look like trees walking around.”
Once more Jesus put his hands on the man’s eyes. Then his eyes were opened, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly. Jesus sent him home, saying, “Don’t go into the village.” Mark 8:22-25”

I am like the blind man, I see people, but I don’t see them clearly. I glance or look or see them out of my peripheral vision, but I don’t take the time to see them as a person. I see them as a tree, just a vertical object.

What I do is not “ministry” if I forget the people. What I do and the work I accomplish is nothing if I don’t have love. When I thought I would someday work in ministry, the work is not what I desired. It was the people I desired and the things Jesus would do through me to affect His Kingdom and His people.

When working in a church and thinking of the ministry that happens here, I tend to think the people affected by the ministry and who it’s for are the people outside the doors; the members, attenders and the seekers. I don’t think of my co-workers as the recipients of my ministry because they are doing ministry too. But, that is wrong and it is sin. All I do should be ministry, that’s the kind of life I desire. I want that life, that heart attitude. I want every thought, action, word and motion to be ministry. When I pray “Thy Kingdom come” it means right here, right now, to the piece of ground that my feet are on at this moment and every moment.

I blew it, and I will continue to blow it each and every time if I don’t have the anointing of the Holy Spirit. My prayer is to make my life a ministry, to live the Kingdom life.

God’s Gift

The Lord sent me a Valentine,
Whose love forever will be mine.
He will mold and shape us into one,
And guide our steps with His Son.

I never thought I’d learn to trust,
Or experience love instead of lust,
God worked to soften both our hearts,
And then our love got it’s start.

You look in my eyes and I begin to melt,
And feel these feelings I’ve never felt.
Bill, you’re God’s gift in this life of mine,
My true love, my soul mate, my Valentine.

Beautiful Bill

Oh, how I love my Beautiful Bill,
On good days and bad, I love him still
He’s different than anyone I know
And I always want my love to show.

He’s kind, gentle and oh, so sweet,
No one else I want to meet.
He’s my lover, soul mate, my best friend.
I will love him to the end.

Riches Untold

When I look in your eyes, I can see,
All the love you have for me.
I can feel your love is true,
And I become one with you.

Lost in each other, we both melt,
This experience, I’ve never felt.
I want to share with you my life,
To honor and love you as your wife.

Waking up each morning next to you,
Is all I ever want to do.
Holding you in my heart through the day,
As we both go our separate way.

To join back with you once again,
As the day comes to an end.
And as I sleep, in my arms I hold
A gift from God equal to riches untold.

The Pit

You were there when I was numb
When I was lost.
When I didn’t know where to find…..
me.

I didn’t know where to look.
Going through the motions
seemed so hard.
My struggles just brought
me deeper in the pit.

But, no pit is deeper
than the arm of God.
And You were there.
You met me in my pit,
and sat with me awhile.
And we cried together.
We mourned my losses:
-of hope
-of the future
that “my mind” had planned,
and realized that You directed my path.

Your plans are better than mine,
Your thoughts are higher than mine.
And I put my hand in Yours,
and You are bringing me out of that pit.
And I know there is glorious sunshine at the end.

However long it takes
However many rocks are in my path,
we will go hand in hand
and I will trust You
and follow You completely.
For You know me
and even though You know,
You love me!

Freeze Tag

(Please see my article “He Touched Me” for part one.)

One Sunday my Pastor’s sermon was called “Freeze Tag”. When you were a kid, did you ever play the game freeze tag? It’s just like playing tag, one person is “it” and runs around, trying to tag the others, the only difference is once you are tagged, you must freeze in that position. You remain that way until one of the other people that aren’t “it” come and touch you and unfreeze you, then you are free to run around again. Well my life related to this game of freeze tag, as I’m sure many other’s do. At a point in my life I was touched and frozen. The part of me that was frozen didn’t grow up and also didn’t want to feel because of the pain I was trying to avoid. I needed to find ways to numb my feelings. People get frozen for different reasons, either for one reason or for a combination of reasons. I think mine was a combination. I had really low self-esteem and self worth; I had what I call a “soil of shame” and a “root of rejection”. These were brought into my life for various reasons.

“…For you shall forget the shame of your youth…” Isaiah 54:4

When I heard the sermon Freeze Tag something happened inside of me. Monday, I decided to quit smoking pot, I was going to call my Pastor and speak with him about the sermon and realized Monday was his day off. I didn’t call him that day and I didn’t quit drugs, but I did only smoke one joint (instead of the usual 8!). Tuesday came and I got up my nerve and called my Pastor. He was so gracious! I poured it all out, I told him all the things I was ashamed of and how helpless I was to stop on my own. I just wanted to live for Jesus-completely! He talked to me about my concerns of quitting and starting a new life, he prayed with me and that was the day I quit!

“Confess to one another therefore your faults (your slips, your false steps, your offenses, your sins) and pray [also] for one another, that you may be healed and restored [to a spiritual tone of mind and heart]. The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available [dynamic in its working].” James 5:16 AMP

Once you’re frozen in life, you need a touch to get defrosted just like in the game. The difference being in the game anyone other than the person that is “it” can touch you, but in life, it has to be Jesus. He comes and touches that frozen part of you and you’re defrosted. That part of you is now allowed to grow and to feel. It’s a difficult process. Even if you are supernaturally delivered like I was from the addictive substance, there are still a lot of things you have to do in the aftermath of it. For me, the part that was frozen was my emotions; I truly didn’t know how to feel, or what I was feeling. Making decisions was hard; I didn’t know what my opinions were. I cried very easily because my emotions were right on the surface. I wasn’t used to feeling, so when I did feel it was really intense.

“Now Jesus was teaching in one of the synagogues on the Sabbath. And there was a woman there who for eighteen years had had an infirmity caused by a spirit (a demon of sickness). She was bent completely forward and utterly unable to straighten herself up or to look upward. And when Jesus saw her, He called (her to Him) and said to her, Woman, you are released from your infirmity! Then He laid (His) hands on her and instantly she was made straight, and she recognized and thanked and praised God.” Luke 13:10-13 AMP

This sums up how Jesus touched me. I was frozen in life always looking down, unable to look up because the things of the world held me in bondage. Jesus touched me and I wasn’t frozen any more, I could look up and see Jesus, look Him right in the eye and know that He loved me, He healed me from my infirmity!

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds [curing their pains and their sorrows].” Psalm 147:3 AMP

Anyone can be used by Jesus to be “Jesus in the skin” to someone else, let Him use you today. Let Him use your former pain and shame to minister to others. Help Him set the captives free.

“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me, because the Lord has anointed Me to preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound” Isaiah 61:1 NKJV

“Instead of your [former] shame you shall have a twofold recompense…” Isaiah 61:7a AMP

“who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” II Corinthians 1:4 RSV
(Continued in my next article “The Battle Belongs to the Lord”)

You Can’t Stop Me

Last Saturday, I attended a conference sponsored by Women of God. The theme was “In His Presence”. I was within minutes of walking out the door when something happened–my power went out! I checked the circuit breaker box and it was okay, I looked outside to see if my neighbor’s had power, but I couldn’t tell.

I went to the car to leave and I couldn’t–the garage has an automatic door. I remembered if I pulled the red handle that was hanging down I could manually open the door. I pulled the handle, it disengaged, I tried to pull the door up and it wouldn’t budge. I tried and tried and tried! Finally, I went in the house and called the Power Company to see if they knew about the outage. They knew and said it would be back on sometime between 9:00 and Noon! I found myself sitting down and starting to tell myself I would just get comfortable and stay home. Then it came to me that the last thing the enemy wanted me to do was to go to this event! I figured it was going to be great. I decided nothing was going to keep me from going. I sat down, prayed and started to read my Bible, I was going to get filled with the Word and ready for my day. By 9:05 a.m. the power was on and I was on my way.

I wasn’t very late, worship had just finished. They asked us to introduce ourselves to someone near us. I told the lady I spoke with that I was expecting great and wonderful things from God. I knew something awesome was going to happen and that’s why Satan tried so hard to get me discouraged.

I was right, the conference was really terrific! I learned so much and I was so blessed by the worship and the other women. It was a wonderful day. The speakers were really good; one was a Pastor and a psychotherapist. She spoke mostly about the different coping skills and emotions that are developed by people who have been abused. She believes healing ultimately occurs through strengthening the spirit, a deepening relationship with God and healing the soul. We learned contemplative prayer, which I found to be really helpful. Contemplative prayer is when we place ourselves as the “main character” in a Bible story. I stretched out on the pew and closed my eyes as she read a Bible story. She asked us at different times how we felt, what things looked like, etc. It was a healing thing to do. I believe we’re most open to the Holy Spirit and His work in us when we are creative.

I was reminded how important it is to just sit with Jesus. Since then, I have made it a deliberate action in my day, to spend quiet time with Him. He’s my best friend and I find myself throughout the day talking with Him. He goes to work with me, grocery shopping, walking, to coffee and lunch. He goes everywhere with me. I look forward all day to spending quality alone time with Jesus, I am excited and eagerly anticipating my time with Him. I know and I’m aware of Jesus with me throughout the day, because I have set my mind to be. I’ve asked Jesus to help me to be aware and I’m changing already.

I know spending time with Jesus is not just a feeling, it is a state of my soul, and it transforms me. In His presence I am changed, my soul is refreshed and my heart is softened. Little by little, day by day, I develop the mind, heart and attitude of Jesus. I will start to manifest more and more compassion, love and humbleness, all the fruits of the Spirit will be developed in me. I have learned prayer isn’t always talking, thinking or even trying to listen, prayer can be just being open to receive whatever it is Jesus has for me. There are times He brings things up and we walk through the memory or issue together, that’s how healing happens. There are not words to describe the presence of Jesus, or the transformation He does in my soul.

“He must increase, but I must decrease. (He must grow more prominent; I must grow less so.)” John 3:30

I finally got the meaning of this Scripture, and it is so easy! I don’t know why I had such trouble with it. I’ve tried for most of my Christian life to do the things I thought I was supposed to do. For instance: crucify my flesh, seek God’s will, show the fruits of the Spirit, resist the devil, etc. When what I need is to spend time with Jesus. The Holy Spirit impressed upon me this illustration: if I have a glass with dirty water in it and I pour in fresh clean water and continue to pour water in the glass until it overflows; and I pour still more water in it, more and more and more…eventually; the glass has NO dirty water in it, JUST clean water!

“Let this same attitude and purpose and (humble) mind be in you which was in Christ Jesus” Philippians 2:5

“(Not in your own strength) for it is God who is all the while effectually at work in you (energizing and creating in you the power and desire) both to will and to work for His good pleasure and satisfaction and delight.” Philippians 2:13

All I need to do is focus on filling myself full of Him, not removing the undesirable traits that are in me. The undesirable will go when I am continually filled with Jesus. He will never leave me or forsake me, He will not quit-He will continue to transform me and finish the work He started in me. All I have to do is cooperate!