I’m Powerless

This last week has been really crazy for me. I’ve been reminded over and over just how powerless I am. How powerless we all are.

Last Monday, I was at North Memorial in Maple Grove with Bill. He was getting a test done as an outpatient. While I was waiting for him my niece called and told me my Mom had been taken to the Hospital by ambulance. She didn’t have any other information – just that.

I called and verified that my mom had just arrived in the ER and they were checking her out – they’d call when they had more information. So, when Bill got done we went from North Memorial in Maple Grove to North Memorial in Robbinsdale. The bottom line is that mom has a blood clot in her heart. She’s home now but she has a long road ahead of her yet.

Through this God has been showing me and teaching me many things:
• To live one day at a time; sometimes one moment at a time.
• To be fully present to each moment.
• I am powerless and I have to continually turn things over to Him – that’s been my entire week this week.
• He’s showing me just how precious each moment is and not to take anything for granted.
• He’s shown me the love He has for His children and that no matter how old we are – we’re still His children.
• That He gives us the strength and grace we need for each day – our “daily bread”.
• He’s shown me the importance of family and friends and that they really make a difference in our lives.
• He’s shown me the reality of “we can make our plans, but He directs our steps”
• that ultimately He’s in control. And we – are powerless.

Here’s a “physical heart-snapshot”
One of the cool things He showed me is the complex and unique way He has created us. I was in the room when Mom got an ultrasound done of her heart. At one point the image on the screen was like a little cone head person (you can tell I’m a 70’s SNL fan) I think there was more than one but I could really only see one (because of the size of the screen) and this little cone head person; was praising God! It was kinda like jumping jacks yet not really. It would raise it’s hands in praise and then back down to touch the other cone head person.

I really think it was her heart pumping and the valves letting the blood flow by and then blocking it again. I’m not sure. But to me, in that moment it was cone head people praising God. I just thought – wow, even our hearts praise God with every beat!

Jesus Loves Us in Unique and Special Ways

Wednesday I had a doctor’s appointment that I hadn’t really been looking forward to. (Although, who ever looks forward to doctor appointments?) Tuesday two friends of mine prayed for me and Wednesday when I woke up I was calm and peaceful; I was ready to go.

I always look on the top of the street light poles for red tail hawks and when I see one, I think it’s from Jesus. I think He’s giving me a special “hello, I see you, you’re mine” that day. Well, this day, as we’re driving to my appointment, I see a Bald Eagle on top of the street light pole!

Bald Eagles have always been very special to me. They’ve always been a sign, like a special gift from Jesus to me. There are times I ask to see them (and deer) when I’m up north and whenever I do, I thank Jesus right away and I marvel at their beauty and majesty. They mean freedom, strength, power, protection, beauty, peace, joy, watching over me and that everything will be OK. They are really majestic to me. Well, this day when I saw one; (IN THE CITY!!!) I knew Jesus was with me in a very special way.

I’m so thankful that I have a Lord and Savior who cares about me personally, who sees me, knows my name and loves me in a very unique and special way.

Winter

Winter – I’ve always hated it. Well, maybe that’s a little bit strong. But, I really don’t ever remember liking it too much; even as a kid. Most kids love the snow and want to go outside and play in it. I don’t remember being like that; well, maybe I’m just too old to remember 🙂

Usually, all I do is complain about the cold, the snow and how dreadfully long it is. But, God is slowing changing me. The last few years haven’t been so bad for me. In fact – last year for my birthday I asked to go dog sledding in Ely. The temperature was -30 and that was without the wind chill. Yet, we went and we had a good time.

This year, I grieved the loss of summer and felt cheated because it seemed so short; but yet I find I’m not dreading the coming of winter. In fact, today I looked out the window at the trees and noticed that some of them have very little leaves left on them. I felt a peace, like nature is soon to be resting and with that rest comes renewal and a burst of energy in the spring. I feel like God is going to do that with me as well this year (well, that probably was His plan for me the other years too, but I resisted). I know that we need rejuvenation, rest, renewal, transformation and a burst of energy too, just like nature does.

So, this year; I’m not going to resist. I’m going to allow God to slow me down and do His renewal work in me as well. I’m going to view winter with new eyes this year. I’m at peace and I’m going to look for the beauty ‘cause it’s all part of the bigger picture and God’s plan.