Cancer Scare

My sister found out she had a “large mass” on her right kidney. She didn’t have any symptoms and didn’t have a clue it was there. It was kind of a fluke they found it.

She had abdominal pains and went to the ER because she was out of town and it was a weekend. They diagnosed her with a severe bladder infection. During the exam they did a CT scan of her abdomen and that’s when they saw the mass.

When she got back home she went for a follow up with a kidney specialist and he did his own CT scan and verified it was indeed there. He told her it looked like she had kidney cancer! Wow!

It made me think of how quickly things can change. Out of the blue a diagnoses of cancer can come and rock your world and everyone’s world that’s close to you. We are all just fragile humans and our fatality is guaranteed, it’s just a matter of time. Suddenly she was in a whirlwind of tests: bone scans, PET scans, blood work, etc. They found out she has Type II diabetes and started her on a special diet and insulin. We were all praying like crazy and asking everyone we knew to pray too. Please God take this cancer away from her!

My dad and mom are both gone, dad died in 1992 and mom in 2010. I was really close to my mom’s sister and she died in 2011. I’ve been going through many changes with the realization that my generation is now the top of the family tree. The view is much different from up here. I want to end well, I want to live well and with that will come dying well; I hope. But for me I’ve been very aware of this new season of life I’m entering and am trying my best to embrace it. Now, with the news of my oldest sister facing kidney cancer; I again had to look at the reality that comes with being at the top of the tree. It’s our turn. We’re next.

This realization woke me up to the fact that I need to start living out my love for people. Sure, my sister and I have history and it’s not all pretty. We’ve had our issues just like any other family does but the bottom line is that although we may not always like each other; we always love each other and that’s what needs to be on the surface. That’s what’s important. Love needs to win and it always will.

I asked her how I could be there for her, did she want me to come to the hospital and be in the waiting room during her surgery? (She had her kidney removed) Her answer was yes. So, I went. I waited. I prayed. I had to leave early due to a meeting I couldn’t reschedule or get out of at work. This type of meeting is very rare for me but yet it was my reality on this day of all days. I hated to leave. My body left but my mind, soul, spirit and heart were left behind in that waiting room.

During the meeting I got a text that said she was out of surgery and in recovery I was delighted! JOY! I felt lighter and realized what a heaviness I had been carrying. I wondered what heaviness my sister and her husband had been experiencing.

The mass was tested and it was a cyst!! Praise God! He is the ultimate healer and Great Physician. He took the cancer away! I love it when prayer is answered! Even her doctor was amazed. He said he was sure it was cancer. He had never seen a cyst that shape or size before. It had all the characteristics of a cancerous tumor; there was blood flowing through it, it was growing and it was large.

My faith is boosted, God still does miracles and He answers prayer always. Sometimes not with the answer we are hoping for but sometimes we do get the answer we’re hoping for.  I’m grateful for this lesson of the importance of family and showing love and support. Opening my eyes once again to the season of life I’m in and remembering to make the most of who, what and where I am. I have no children of my own and because of this I tend to think I have nothing to leave behind – no legacy; no one to carry on my blood line or traits they’ve inherited from me. But I can leave something behind. There’s more than one way to leave an inheritance. The dictionary includes in the definition of inheritance this: “the inheritance of traits”. I can leave memories, love and faith; pieces of myself (traits) that I’ve invested in and/or shown to others. It’s never too late to start.

My Hall of Faith

Hebrews 11 is called the Hall of Faith chapter in the Bible. It speaks of people who have gone before us who were filled with faith; extraordinary faith.

Enoch walked so closely with God that he didn’t die; he was taken to heaven by God because of his great faith.

Noah obeyed God when he was told to build an ark. It had never rained; no one knew what rain was, much less a flood! Noah was obedient and did as he was told; he believed God and had faith that what God said would come to pass. He became an heir of righteousness.

Abraham believed God by going to a place he did not know, He also brought his son Isaac to be offered up as a sacrifice because he trusted and had faith in God. God promised him he would be the father of many nations and his descendants would outnumber the stars in the sky.

These people and more had great faith in God. Some of them died before seeing the fulfillment of the promise God had given them. Who are the people in your Hall of Faith?  I have had several over the course of my life and I am incredibly grateful for each and every one of them. My Grandma prayed for all of us kids; she didn’t live to see us as adults but her prayers carried us and I’m sure they made a huge difference in our lives. I wonder where I’d be if I didn’t have the prayers of my Grandma.

My dad prayed for me everyday, he died when I was 32. I became a Christian at 34.  My mom told me that my dad would tell her not to worry about me because I was going to turn out OK. He knew it because every time he prayed for me he felt peace. God let him know his prayers were being answered. Even though he didn’t live long enough to see the fulfillment of his prayers, he believed and he was obedient.

My mom also
prayed for me everyday. She never gave up on me. We had our moments just like all mothers and daughters do but she never gave up. She did get to see the answer to her prayers. My mom and I were very close when she died.

My aunt Elsie was a Spiritual voice in my life. I visited her every year, sometimes a couple times a year for the last 10-12 years she was alive (she lived in AZ). Every time I was there, she showed me her prayer list at least a couple of times. She prayed for everyone on the list everyday; she prayed for me and my husband every morning and every night. I miss her prayer covering.

These are a few of the people in my life’s Hall of Faith. I recognize them and thank them for the role they’ve played in my life. I thank them for being obedient to God; for praying and not giving up on me.

If you’re praying for people in your life. Don’t give up. God is at work even though you may not be aware of what He’s doing.

Confused

Lately God has me confused. Well, let me re-phrase that. I’m confused because I’m busy trying to figure out God andwhat He’s up to and where He’s bringing me.

Over 6 months ago my husband and I decided to help my friend launch a new church. We took it on as a short term mission project because neither of us felt called to leave the church we were going to which also the place I work.  Within 2-3 weeks God made it clear to both of us that He was calling us to leave our church. I’ve attended this church for 16 years (and on and off for 3 years prior) and my husband had attended for 11 years. We weren’t sure what God was up to but we obeyed. I assumed my job was part of the package and I was to leave it as well. I was grieving leaving my job because I enjoy it and I love the volunteers I serve with. I have at least 150 I oversee and manage.

I started to look for jobs. I came across some I thought would fit my schedule and would work for me. However, I never applied to any of them. It just didn’t feel right in my spirit. Meanwhile, I started helping my husband at weddings. He’s a photographer and had weddings booked every Saturday in June. I got really wiped out and tired. I had no energy and it would take almost the entire week to recover and then it was time to do it again.

July came and the weddings weren’t booked so close together anymore. It was hot and humid for much of the month and again I found I was tired and had no energy. I blamed the humidity.I painted and worked at the space for the new launch church many afternoons a week. Once I painted for 20-25 minutes and was so sore the next day I could hardly move. I began to realize I most likely couldn’t do a job other than the one I had.

During this time, I continued to pray for God to show me my next place of employment. I made a promise to God back when I first got the job I’m currently doing. It was literally given to me. I didn’t apply for it, they just offered it to me. Initially I said no to their offer and they bargained with me, gave me such a sweet deal I realized it was God who was putting the job in my hand.  I promised Him I would hold it loosely and I’d stay until He took it away. I’ve survived numerous staff and budget cuts and I’m still there. I get frustrated at times because God called to leave our church yet it’s difficult to find a new church when I work 3 Sundays a month. I don’t get it.

I kept thinking God was going move me. I would tell myself “I can do anything for five years” and one day I heard back “even do what you’re doing now?” Huh, that was the last thing I expected. I knew it didn’t come from me. I continued to feel that phrase in my spirit whenever I prayed about it.

I went to the Rheumatologist in August and was told my previous blood work showed I’m in a Lupus flare-up. Well, suddenly my entire summer (and winter before) made sense. That’s why I’m feeling the way I am. I told her about my job and asked her what she thought about me getting a different one; she told me “no”, at least not now. She explained that if I had a different job I would most likely be quite sick. She thinks the reason I don’t feel as bad as my blood work shows is because I’ve learned over the years how to rest AND because I have a job that I can work from home – on my couch. I work when I want, for how long I want. 

About 10-11 years ago my biggest desire was to know God’s voice and hear what He’s saying to me. I realized my prayer has been answered. I clearly know what God is saying to me; I’m never confused about what He says but rather why He’s saying it. I’m incredibly grateful I have learned to recognize and listen to God’s voice in my life. Now my prayer is to relax and quit trying to figure it all out

To Him the gatekeeper opens. The sheep hear His voice, and He calls His own sheep by name and leads them out. When He has brought out all His own, He goes before them, and the sheep follow Him, for they know His voice.  My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.  John 10:3-4; 27

Thankful

The years have helped me to understand
The value of things I can’t hold in my hands
The people I love, my friends and family
And those who have gone before me

Past events have shaped who I am today
Just as a potter molds a lump of clay
The people who prayed for me everyday
As I struggled and journeyed along the way

The sweet sound of a baby’s cry
The love found in a mother’s eyes
These are what I’m thankful for
Things I can’t buy in a store.

Things that God gives to me
Of great value; yet they’re free
As I complete my journey in this land
Of these things; may I always understand.

Power of Prayer

I’m very fortunate to have grown up in a Christian home; it taught me the power of prayer. Even before I was born I had people who prayed for me. My mother had several miscarriages and a child that died a few hours after birth in the hospital. For those reasons, she was told she was unable to have children. When she found out she was pregnant with me she didn’t expect the pregnancy to go full term. I’m sure all of our family was praying for me in my mother’s womb. Those prayers were very effective because I was born healthy. For the last 15 years my aunt Elsie has reminded me every time I visited her that I’m a miracle.

I know my Grandma, Dad, Mom and Aunt prayed for me daily for my entire life.  I’m sure that’s why some things turned out the way they did. Looking back, I can see many times that I should have died but didn’t. I’m sure this protection was because of the prayer covering that I had over my life.  Now, I’m 52 and at the top of the family tree; I’m the oldest generation. One at a time, I’ve lost all of the four people that prayed daily for me throughout my lifetime.  I miss that; prayer is so valuable. It’s the most important thing one person can give to someone else.

Knowing the value and importance of prayer and being at the top of the tree I feel it’s my turn to provide this daily prayer for the younger generations in my family. The problem is I’m really bad at it, I’m trying but I’m not there yet.

So please, pray for those you love; pray for those you don’t love….just pray! Partner with God and see what kind of protection and miracles you can be part of. You just might be surprised!

People Look Like Trees

I worked this week for four days. I haven’t worked in 6 months. I am retired. This is my on-call job, at the Church I attend. My goal for retirement was to get into ministry. So, there I was…finally doing “ministry”. I’ve wanted to work in ministry for a very long time and there I was!

Now, reflecting back, I realize I was doing my same old work habits. I get so focused on my work and what I’m doing, I forget the people around me. There were times I didn’t look up when one of them would come and get coffee. The coffee is right outside my work space, the only thing between me and the coffee pot is a big glass window. I would see someone out there or walking by and I wouldn’t look up.

It reminds me of the time Jesus healed a blind man and he was only partially healed.
“They came to Bethsaida, and some people brought a blind man and begged Jesus to touch him. He took the blind man by the hand and led him outside the village. When he had spit on the man’s eyes and put his hands on him, Jesus asked, “Do you see anything?”
He looked up and said, “I see people; they look like trees walking around.”
Once more Jesus put his hands on the man’s eyes. Then his eyes were opened, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly. Jesus sent him home, saying, “Don’t go into the village.” Mark 8:22-25”

I am like the blind man, I see people, but I don’t see them clearly. I glance or look or see them out of my peripheral vision, but I don’t take the time to see them as a person. I see them as a tree, just a vertical object.

What I do is not “ministry” if I forget the people. What I do and the work I accomplish is nothing if I don’t have love. When I thought I would someday work in ministry, the work is not what I desired. It was the people I desired and the things Jesus would do through me to affect His Kingdom and His people.

When working in a church and thinking of the ministry that happens here, I tend to think the people affected by the ministry and who it’s for are the people outside the doors; the members, attenders and the seekers. I don’t think of my co-workers as the recipients of my ministry because they are doing ministry too. But, that is wrong and it is sin. All I do should be ministry, that’s the kind of life I desire. I want that life, that heart attitude. I want every thought, action, word and motion to be ministry. When I pray “Thy Kingdom come” it means right here, right now, to the piece of ground that my feet are on at this moment and every moment.

I blew it, and I will continue to blow it each and every time if I don’t have the anointing of the Holy Spirit. My prayer is to make my life a ministry, to live the Kingdom life.