Blog
Daughter of a King
It was Thanksgiving and we were all at my sister’s. She has 5 grandkids and a 7 year old son so there was a lot of energy in the house. Jada is 3 years old and she’s my great-niece. She’s what some people call a “girly girl”. She’s tiny and precious and never wants to get dirty or rough house with the boys. She is a princess. This particular day she had on a beautiful dress, tights, shiny shoes and her hair was in cute pigtails. She was looking good and feeling even better. My niece Christine (Jada’s aunt) arrived with a game for the kids to...
read moreStruggles and Joy
I keep reading in different places and hearing sermons on struggle, pain and grief and how it relates to joy. It seems that our struggle, pain and grief expand our capacity to feel and experience joy. But, not until we’ve gone through it. I keep thinking about the song that I heard last night “Come to Jesus” I can always come to Jesus and let Him hold me in His arms. I’ve had struggles, pain and grief for about 2+ years now. When will I get through to the other side? There are times during this season that I have stuffed my feelings and not...
read moreSeasons of Life
They say to everything there is a season There is a purpose and there is a reason The reasons are rarely revealed to me I seem to stumble along, unable to see. I’m nearing the end of a season that felt dark And forever in my soul, it has left its mark In hindsight I can see God was always there Guiding and loving me with utmost care I can now see there was a purpose for it all God was stretching me, urging me to stand tall And like a baby, I’m wobbly and I stumble I cry, complain and sometimes mumble I fight each new season; not wanting to...
read moreDesert Place
I’m living in a waiting season I know God has me here for a reason The thing to which He’s calling me Isn’t yet clear for me to see. But, there is one thing I know It’s an invitation for me to grow And to live more fully in His Kingdom Walking in faith, peace and freedom It’s not fun being in this desert place It seems so hard to see God’s face I’m wandering around, not sure where to go With so many questions, it’s hard to know. I have to trust and have no fear Knowing that God is always near He’s working it out for my good and His glory When...
read moreLiving in the Shadows
I’ve been living in shadows for a few years, Many times I think the end must be near. Then a new shadow comes and blocks the light, Again, the sunshine seems out of sight. I keep moving ahead without a chart Through the shadows and in the dark I’m walking by faith and not by sight Resisting the urge to put up a fight What does God have here for me? He’s teaching me a new way to see. Showing me in shadows, light can be found And even in darkness joy can abound When God is done and I am purged Then from the shadows, I will emerge A better...
read moreWaves of Grief
I’m thankful for the waves of grief, Because between them, I find relief The frequency and size are never the same Some hit hard and others are quite tame They are uncontrollable as they come and go Their size, intensity and duration I never know. I have no choice but to see them through And let them do what they will do They’ve hit me hard and knocked me down I wondered if I’d come around But I look to Jesus and don’t lose sight And hang on to Him with all my might I know in my heart each wave will pass For they are not intended to last...
read moreGrief
Grief looks different on everyone For me, it took six months to come It’s so late that it somehow seems wrong That these feelings would be so strong Not that grief wasn’t there right away But it didn’t hang around to stay Now it’s as if it’s part of me Death is in everything I see I was away from home without a lifeline My mom played that role all the time The extent of my loss became crystal clear It’s sad to let go of my mother so dear
read moreFeeling Like an Outsider
I always felt like a black sheep The feeling’s as old as it is deep My siblings were chosen, I was not It was a status I constantly sought This desire and struggle followed me through life Creating poor choices and much strife In certain situations things haven’t changed That outsider feeling still remains One day last April, my mom died The entire family was by her side She was my best friend and the family’s glue Now I’m an outsider and an orphan too So, I turn to Jesus; He’s my only source I can trust in Him to keep me on course He’ll walk...
read moreI’m Powerless
This last week has been really crazy for me. I’ve been reminded over and over just how powerless I am. How powerless we all are. Last Monday, I was at North Memorial in Maple Grove with Bill. He was getting a test done as an outpatient. While I was waiting for him my niece called and told me my Mom had been taken to the Hospital by ambulance. She didn’t have any other information – just that. I called and verified that my mom had just arrived in the ER and they were checking her out – they’d call when they had more information. So, when Bill...
read morePowerless
This last week has been really crazy for me. I’ve been reminded over and over just how powerless I am. How powerless we all are. Last Monday, I was at North Memorial in MG with Bill. He was getting a test done as an outpatient. While I was waiting for him my niece called and told me my Mom had been taken to the Hospital by ambulance. She didn’t have any other information – just that. I called and verified that my mom had just arrived in the ER and they were checking her out – they’d call when they had more information. So, when Bill got done...
read more