Glimpses

Lord, open my eyes so I might see
Glimpses of You surrounding me.
You show Yourself in so many ways,
Beneath the surface of my life everyday.

If I’d only stop long enough to see,
What’s right here in front of me,
I’d soon live in a new reality
Bits of heaven would blossom in me.

With spiritual eyes things would be new
My everyday life would be colored with You.
I want to live my life in this way
Being fully present to You everyday.

Simplicity

I’m drawn to a life of simplicity
Yet I live here in the city.
I wonder; can the two co-exist?
Or by choosing one, is the other missed.

In the woods – surrounded by your creation
Your presence with me is a strong sensation
Your awesome beauty reflects in all I see
Your gentle voice whispers through the trees

I experience You in all I see, think and feel
And in that moment, there’s nothing more real.
I’ve been filled with Your Spirit – we are one
My wants and needs – have become none.

This awareness disappears at home in the city
Distracted with busyness and noise– what a pity
I hustle and bustle through my day
And in the evening look around and say

I didn’t see God – why wasn’t He here?
The truth is; He was very near
But I didn’t look and I didn’t see
I didn’t ask or listen and that’s the key

When things are quiet and simple I’m more aware
Of Jesus’ presence and always being there
Simple – that’s the life I’m called to lead
Jesus will supply all I want and need

Lord, help me with simplicity.

Moment by Moment

Jesus – everywhere I look; it’s You I see
In the tall, majestic Oak tree,
The puffy clouds in the sky so blue,
All things created remind me of You.

You speak to me through your creation,
And show me your awesome imagination
The water, forest and the fields
All of them, to you yield

Through the woods, I love to walk
There I find it’s easy to talk
To talk to you and hear you so clearly
These moments I hold dearly

Why is it these walks aren’t more frequent?
Why isn’t my daily time better spent?
I desire a closer, intimate relationship with You
Yet I find myself doing other things I don’t want to do

It’s that age old question – why do I do
The things that I don’t want to do?
Why can’t I do the things that I want to?
For it’s you Lord, I want to pursue.

I want to drink from the well that satisfies
I want to walk with the one who hears my cries
I want to go through life holding your hand
Guiding me moment by moment through the land

There is Hope

I want to share with you that there is hope. When you’re a Child of God – there’s always hope! Paul says in Colossians 1:27 that we have Christ in us, the hope of glory. (Christ is in us and we can hope for glory – we can!)

I gave my life to Jesus when I was a young child in Sunday school and I fell away – badly when I got a little older. I gave my life to Jesus as an adult when I was 34. At that time, I had been using drugs for about 22 years and was in the process of my 3rd divorce.

I started using when I was barely 13; because I wanted to be grown up, wanted to fit in and just wanted to be cool. My oldest sister introduced me to cigarettes, drinking and pot – all in one night. I had been sexually abused by different men from the age of 11 or 12 until about 15. When I was 22, right after my first divorce my mom disowned me and I went into a downward spiral for the next 12 years.

I used men, a huge variety of drugs and partied whenever I could. My drug of choice was always pot, but also included cocaine for about 8 years. I did many other drugs in my life, but these two were my favorites. My goal was to be stoned from the time I got up in the morning until I passed out at night. In the morning when I was putting my make up on, I was smoking a joint; I smoked on the way to work, at work and on the way home and all night long. A typical day for me was an average of 8 joints and that was when I was by myself. Weekends and when I smoked with friends, my usage was up. This didn’t stop just because I gave my life to Jesus. I continued smoking pot and drinking for about a year and a half after I was saved. I did however, quit using men, partying and doing the bar scene.

When I quit using, it appeared as though it was a miracle, a deliverance; it looked like I just suddenly quit cold turkey. From 8 joints one day – to zero the next. But that wasn’t the case; Jesus had been working on me on the inside for the entire year and a half. I knew I wasn’t pleasing Him and I knew He wanted me to quit. I’d pray and tell Jesus that if I’m ever gonna quit, He’d have to do it for me, because I couldn’t do it alone. The thing is, I didn’t want to quit, I enjoyed it. I prayed that He would make me willing to be willing; and then allow Him to come in and do His work. I would always put this tag though on the end of those prayers and say “but please don’t get me busted!” Cause you know how God is and He works that way sometimes when we don’t get the message.

Well, one day, I heard a sermon and I knew it was time. (The sermon was called “Freeze Tag” and it was about the game of Freeze tag that you’ve maybe played when you were young. Whoever is “it” tags the other players and they are instantly frozen and they have to stay that way until one of the other players comes along and tags them – then they are no longer frozen. The sermon related that game to people who get frozen and stuck in certain patterns or behaviors in life. Frozen people in life stay that way until Jesus comes along and touches them and then they’re no longer frozen. That was me, and that was what I needed…I needed a touch from Jesus) I knew God was speaking through my Pastor directly to me in that sermon. But, I didn’t quit that day, or the next day which was Monday. I was gonna to call my Pastor and realized that Monday was his day off and so Tuesday I called him and I told him everything = I just spilled it all out to him and he was so gracious! We prayed together and that was the last day I used drugs.

So, there is hope. Isaiah 59:1 says “Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear” Surely His arm is not too short to save – he can reach you no matter where you are. If you cry out to him, he will hear you (his ear is not dull) and he will reach you – no matter how far you’ve fallen.

I’ll leave you with this: taken from Romans 15:13 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit..”

Our God is a God of hope and we can overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

He I Am To Worship

I volunteered for the Passion Regional Conference in Chicago last weekend. I’ve volunteered for Passion Conferences in the past and loved it. I was on the Touch Team again and it’s the team that interacts with the students the most. The Touch Team is usually inside the arena to help students find seats, answer any questions they may have and assist them in any way. We – the volunteers are there to serve the Kingdom by serving the students. We are to be Jesus in the skin to them.

Well, I think I’m ready for this and I love to serve; it always has brought me joy in the past. The funny thing is this time, it was different – I was different. We started out doing the set up and getting ready for the conference – we arrived at 8 a.m. and the first session was at 7 p.m. I was assigned to help at registration from 2 until 5 in the afternoon. At 5:00 I was on the Touch Team. I was so excited and wanted to have a really good position. I told myself it was because I loved to interact with the students and I loved to serve God. At the meeting of the Touch Team we were told that the position we received for the first night was to be the same position we would hold for the entire conference. Well, my husband got put in a really good place and I ended up being assigned with another volunteer to stand by a barrier and not allow anyone who wasn’t a volunteer to go beyond it. This barrier was out in the concourse. I was so disappointed and angry. I didn’t want to be there, I was whining about everything: my back was going to hurt because I have to keep moving and this position was standing still; it was a stupid place to stand; it didn’t take two of us to guard this barrier; on and on I was complaining to myself. My feelings were taking over. I knew in my head that I was serving God no matter where I was assigned, but my emotions were not matching what I knew to be true. I prayed and thanked God for the opportunity to serve and I knew I was serving regardless of where I was and I praised Him for what He was going to do that weekend in the hearts of all the people attending. Even though I didn’t feel like saying the words, I said the words. I confessed that I was feeling selfish and didn’t want to feel that way but I needed help to get past this.

I wasn’t there too long and one of the leaders asked me to move to the next spot over and help a different volunteer to work the aisle in the arena and decide when to close that section and send everyone to the upper level. I was excited to do that, even though it wasn’t a good position either. I was mad at myself for not being up front of the group and taking one of the first positions that were given away; I was upset not to be where my husband was assigned.

We were told that the following day the 15 registration people would be joining the Touch Team. Well, my plan was to ask to be reassigned to be with my husband Bill now that we had more people and someone else could take my spot. I talked to Bill about it and he thought it was a great idea; he wanted to serve with me. Well, I asked and what happened was they switched Bill and the guy I was serving with the night before. So, the guy I was serving with got the good spot and Bill ended up in the crummy spot with me! I was really upset with myself for not getting myself out of that spot, but now I got Bill in there with me – I ruined it for him! He just takes it all in stride and he seems to be happy anywhere they put him. He’s so great – I can learn so much from him! The people that were on the end portal didn’t show up, one of them was to be on the meal team that morning and would be back after lunch; so they asked me and Bill to split up and he took the end portal and I stayed where I was. Meanwhile, I’m critiquing everything in my head – where are the 15 volunteers from registration? What about the meal team – where are they? (They were supposed to join the Touch Team in the afternoon) We should be doubled up all over the place and it seems like we have the same, if not less than before. The guy that was at the end portal the day before that had joined the meal team came back before the evening session and told us he was a “floater” we saw him just talking and wandering around on the floor and everywhere – it didn’t seem as though he was serving anywhere – just enjoying the conference. Well, seems as though everything was bothering me: I thought I lost $20 and I was flustered and upset, an intercessor that was praying over the seats before the building was open took my sweatshirt that I had saving my seat because she thought it was lost and found – that upset me. I just was miserable and not in the right place in my heart. I prayed and really focused and decided I was in a good spot, I could see just fine and this wasn’t about me.

Well, Louie did a sermon and he said many things that really spoke to me. He talked about people who to go church and complain all the way home about how they didn’t get anything out of the worship, etc. Well, the worship wasn’t for them, it was for God. That’s why we worship – it has nothing to do with what we get or don’t get out of it, we aren’t to be doing it for ourselves. He said as long as we are reacting like that in regards to anything…the worship, the sermon, etc., it shows that the filter or the lens we are viewing the world through is one that is all about ourselves. We need to get rid of that filter – we are not there for us. Why we are there is for God, whether we are attending or serving. Our service is worship to God, is it a sweet aroma in His nostrils? We go and we sing “Here I am to Worship”….when really, no we aren’t there to worship – at least not God we are there to please and feed and make our flesh happy.

Live in the Light

Today at church the sermon was about learning to live in the light. We’ve been in a series about the Way of the Rabbi and how we can follow Jesus, our Rabbi in our everyday life. The verse today’s message was focused on was “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.” 1 John 1:7

What does walking in the light mean to me and you? James tells us that Jesus is “the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” James 1:17b. Jesus doesn’t change – he gives it to us straight, he isn’t like man, he is in the light and there is no darkness in him. He has no “shifting shadows” like man does, where we will say something and then we back out of it saying that’s not what we meant, or we were just kidding, etc. Jesus is what he is, he doesn’t wear a mask and hide and pretend to be something he isn’t; like we do sometimes.

In the sermon today, we were taught that living in the light isn’t just not telling lies, (insincere smiles, unfelt words, and plastic living — wearing a mask) it isn’t just telling the truth or owning our “stuff”, but it also means not hiding. We can hide and pretend to be something we’re not so people will like us and that’s darkness, that’s hiding. The more we hide the more it becomes a way of life for us; something natural that we do without thinking, we are learning how to lie, learning how to live in the darkness. It happens so gradually we really don’t realize how good we are at it and how much a part of us it has become. If we are not living in the light we are not having true fellowship or a relationship with anyone. The person our friends are in relationship with isn’t us; they are in relationship with the false self that we’ve been showing them.

It was communion weekend at church and we were invited to come to the table. We were asked to think about what the Rabbi is showing us as darkness in our lives. What are we not facing, hiding from or hiding behind, what are we not being truthful about? The prayer ministers were at the front of the church and we could go and confess to them during the communion time.

After the sermon, two people moved the cross from the side of the platform to the center of the floor in front to be accessible for anyone to come forward. The room got darker and two very bright lights lit up the cross. The cross was light. We could go forward to Jesus and be in the light if we needed to deal with some things we were hiding from. Jesus doesn’t shine the light on us; rather, He invites us into it. He does this not to embarrass or shame us but rather to heal, forgive, restore and cleanse us.

I love to watch and pray for people from the balcony, it provides the best “big picture” viewpoint. From the balcony I could see the brightness of the cross and there were many people who had gone forward to the cross. What struck me instantly was the light that was shining on the cross was really bright and it created a circle on the carpet around the cross and after the circle it was dark. The people that had gone forward had all stopped on the edge of the light and kneeled. It was so symbolic to me of how hard it is for people to be fully in the light. They approached the light and stopped as soon as they got there. It was too bright to just step into all at once. Healing is a process, most of the time it doesn’t just happen. From the balcony I stood there and prayed and I wasn’t even sure how to pray other than for Jesus to do his work with his children. His children that he loves so very much and wants to heal, forgive, deliver, restore and cleanse. I prayed for Jesus to bring them more fully into the light to call them closer to him and into the brightness of his light. I prayed they stay in the light and live in the light; to know that light isn’t something to fear because it reveals; but rather something to embrace because it brings life.

Mercy Me

The last month or so I’ve noticed a change in me, God is working on the inside of me and I’m changing. I’ve never been one who had the gift of mercy but lately it seems as though it’s coming up in me quite frequently.

I’ve noticed I get to the point of tears when I go to the balcony at church and look over the people down below. I see the “big picture” and my heart breaks for the ones who are hurting or don’t know Jesus. This is quite unusual for me to say the least. It is a powerful image from the balcony for me – I went there again today and the same thing happened. I prayed and cried for Jesus to work and heal His children. I watched them take communion and kneel at the cross, it was so moving to me. I prayed for the lost, the least and the hurting.

I just seem to want to help people. I am a co-leader of a small group in Celebrate Recovery and the people there are hurting and struggling. Many times before in my life I would get impatient with people who didn’t get it together. I wouldn’t feel sorry for the homeless – instead I just wouldn’t notice them or just excuse it away and think they brought it on themselves, etc. I know it’s been wrong for me to feel that way. Recently, I’ve prayed a prayer I didn’t have the nerve to pray before and that is: “Jesus make me like you. Make me love what you love and hurt over what you hurt over.” And he’s changing me!

Today what really struck me is I realized I can’t wait to leave this fallen world and fall into my Savior’s arms. I just want to see Him face to face, to be with Him in eternity. This is a new thought and feeling for me. I’ve not wanted this before in such a real way.

I want Jesus to be my center, the core of my being and to live out of that place. I want to live life intentionally, to be present to each and every person I’m around and to reflect Jesus to them in a real way.

Lisa

Lisa, to so many, you’ve meant so much
Everyone you know has received your touch
You show Jesus to the masses
Whether doing announcements
Or teaching classes

You call me to a deeper level of living
By watching you and seeing your giving
Your humble spirit and tender heart
Convict me to do my part

To live out of that place deep inside
That is present to people and doesn’t hide
To love people well and share the truth
Of God, there is no greater proof

Even when life’s seasons change
There’s one thing that still remains
Even though we’re miles apart
We can still be close in our heart.