Broken

You bind up broken hearts,
Well mine is broken apart
In my mind, I do believe,
Yet I can’t seem to receive.

Receive and walk next to You
Involve You in all I say and do,
I’m isolated and so alone,
My life is empty as is my home

Fall Leaves

Raking leaves this week it occurred to me how in the Bible many times there is a reference to trees, roots and fruit in the context of believers. I thought about the fig tree Jesus cursed because it had no fruit. “And as He saw one single leafy fig tree above the roadside, He went to it but he found nothing but leaves on it [seeing that in the fig tree the fruit appears at the same time as the leaves]. And He said to it, Never again shall fruit grow on you! And the fig tree withered up at once.” Matt. 21:19 The leaves on the tree led Him to believe something that was not true. The tree was a fake and had to go. “Beware of false prophets, who come to you dressed as sheep, but inside they are devouring wolves. You will fully recognize them by their fruits. Do people pick grapes from thorns, or figs from thistles? Even so, every healthy (sound) tree bears good fruit but the sickly (worthless) tree bears bad (worthless) fruit. A good (healthy) tree cannot bear bad (worthless) fruit, nor can a bad (diseased) tree bear excellent fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and cast into the fire. Therefore, you will fully know them by their fruits.“ Matthew 7:15-20

As Christians, we are to bear fruit as well. “Bring forth fruit that is consistent with repentance [let your lives prove your change of heart]“ Matt 3:8. “…so that now you may belong to Another, to Him Who was raised from the dead in order that we may bear fruit for God.” Romans 7:4b There are seasons of our lives that we are dormant and not visually growing, but inside of us, there is something going on. In the spring, the buds show up on our branches, the sap starts flowing and we bear fruit. If we are Christians that do all the “things” on the outside that Christians are “supposed” to do and when someone gets close to us, they find there is no fruit beneath our leaves; we are a fake, a hypocrite and should be cursed and thrown into the fire.

I was sitting on the sofa the other day and I heard a huge gust of wind. I looked out the window and saw the leaves off the trees blowing sideways across the yard. I was reminded that just as the leaves on the trees change colors and fall off, so do the things in our lives that God is through with. There are times the Holy Spirit’s wind blows through our lives to make the things that are dead fall off of us. There are things we sometimes insist on hanging on to. Maybe it is something God once anointed us for and now wants us to move on. Yet, we hang on to whatever it is; teaching Sunday School, working in the Nursery, attending prayer meeting, whatever it is. We hang on because it is a good thing and God really used it in our lives and we think we are to keep it. “Any branch in Me that does not bear fruit [that stops bearing] He cuts away; and he cleanses and repeatedly prunes every branch that continues to bear fruit, to make it bear more and richer and more excellent fruit.” John15:2

There are times in our lives that we need to have some trials happen to us to get the fruit producing in our lives again. Jesus told a parable in regards to this: “A certain man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard, and he came looking for fruit on it, but did not find [any]. So he said to the vinedresser, See here! For these three years I have come looking for fruit on this fig tree and I find none. Cut it down! Why should it continue also to use up the ground [to deplete the soil, intercept the sun, and take up room]? But he replied to him, Leave it alone, sire [just] this one more year, till I dig around it and put manure [on the soil]. Then perhaps it will bear fruit after this; but if not you can cut it down and out.” Luke 13:6-9

Sometimes it takes a little “manure” to get the fruit growing again.

Freeze Tag

(Please see my article “He Touched Me” for part one.)

One Sunday my Pastor’s sermon was called “Freeze Tag”. When you were a kid, did you ever play the game freeze tag? It’s just like playing tag, one person is “it” and runs around, trying to tag the others, the only difference is once you are tagged, you must freeze in that position. You remain that way until one of the other people that aren’t “it” come and touch you and unfreeze you, then you are free to run around again. Well my life related to this game of freeze tag, as I’m sure many other’s do. At a point in my life I was touched and frozen. The part of me that was frozen didn’t grow up and also didn’t want to feel because of the pain I was trying to avoid. I needed to find ways to numb my feelings. People get frozen for different reasons, either for one reason or for a combination of reasons. I think mine was a combination. I had really low self-esteem and self worth; I had what I call a “soil of shame” and a “root of rejection”. These were brought into my life for various reasons.

“…For you shall forget the shame of your youth…” Isaiah 54:4

When I heard the sermon Freeze Tag something happened inside of me. Monday, I decided to quit smoking pot, I was going to call my Pastor and speak with him about the sermon and realized Monday was his day off. I didn’t call him that day and I didn’t quit drugs, but I did only smoke one joint (instead of the usual 8!). Tuesday came and I got up my nerve and called my Pastor. He was so gracious! I poured it all out, I told him all the things I was ashamed of and how helpless I was to stop on my own. I just wanted to live for Jesus-completely! He talked to me about my concerns of quitting and starting a new life, he prayed with me and that was the day I quit!

“Confess to one another therefore your faults (your slips, your false steps, your offenses, your sins) and pray [also] for one another, that you may be healed and restored [to a spiritual tone of mind and heart]. The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available [dynamic in its working].” James 5:16 AMP

Once you’re frozen in life, you need a touch to get defrosted just like in the game. The difference being in the game anyone other than the person that is “it” can touch you, but in life, it has to be Jesus. He comes and touches that frozen part of you and you’re defrosted. That part of you is now allowed to grow and to feel. It’s a difficult process. Even if you are supernaturally delivered like I was from the addictive substance, there are still a lot of things you have to do in the aftermath of it. For me, the part that was frozen was my emotions; I truly didn’t know how to feel, or what I was feeling. Making decisions was hard; I didn’t know what my opinions were. I cried very easily because my emotions were right on the surface. I wasn’t used to feeling, so when I did feel it was really intense.

“Now Jesus was teaching in one of the synagogues on the Sabbath. And there was a woman there who for eighteen years had had an infirmity caused by a spirit (a demon of sickness). She was bent completely forward and utterly unable to straighten herself up or to look upward. And when Jesus saw her, He called (her to Him) and said to her, Woman, you are released from your infirmity! Then He laid (His) hands on her and instantly she was made straight, and she recognized and thanked and praised God.” Luke 13:10-13 AMP

This sums up how Jesus touched me. I was frozen in life always looking down, unable to look up because the things of the world held me in bondage. Jesus touched me and I wasn’t frozen any more, I could look up and see Jesus, look Him right in the eye and know that He loved me, He healed me from my infirmity!

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds [curing their pains and their sorrows].” Psalm 147:3 AMP

Anyone can be used by Jesus to be “Jesus in the skin” to someone else, let Him use you today. Let Him use your former pain and shame to minister to others. Help Him set the captives free.

“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me, because the Lord has anointed Me to preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound” Isaiah 61:1 NKJV

“Instead of your [former] shame you shall have a twofold recompense…” Isaiah 61:7a AMP

“who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” II Corinthians 1:4 RSV
(Continued in my next article “The Battle Belongs to the Lord”)

What Kind of Fish are You?

Here in Minnesota, the fishing season is going strong. Whenever I drive by the lake I see people standing on the shore and out in boats fishing. I’m not really a fisherman myself, but I have been fishing. What I like the most about it is sitting in the boat, being quiet and enjoying nature, the scenery, getting some sun and reading a book. Sometimes, when I’ve lost the bait on my hook, I just throw my line out anyway and sit back and relax, enjoying what I really came for.

This got me thinking about the different methods of fishing and how they relate to the temptations each of us have in our lives. I remember watching my friends fishing off the dock a few years back. My girlfriend was getting a new worm and her hook was hanging over the edge into the water. A bluegill started trying to bite the hook; there wasn’t even any bait on it! I thought, what a stupid fish!

I’ve been walleye fishing at night. The person I was with gave me a quick lesson on the ways of the walleye. They’re a sneaky fish, and you have to be sneakier than they are. Using a metal leader will scare them away because they can see it, you don’t use a bobber and fish off the bottom. They come up to the bait, lure or whatever you’re using and gently suck it in, the person on the end of the pole can hardly feel the fish on the hook. The expert fisherman, when they feel that small tug they suspect is a walleye; they’ll let out some line and let the fish run with it. The fish is going in the opposite direction of the boat with the bait in its mouth. They are thinking (leave it to me to guess what a walleye is thinking!) that they’re getting away with this particular bait. They’re thinking this is a meal! When they have gone out far enough, the fisherman tugs at the line, “hooks” the fish and reels them in.

Then there’s the northern; they’re a frisky fish. I’ve always thought of them as being the carefree partier’s. They seem to just gulp and swallow the bait that goes by them, and right away, they’re fighting with it. They like action; fast moving bait is attractive to them. The fisherman has to hook them immediately, there’s no letting this fish run with the bait; you hook them, fight with them and reel them in. They’ll panic and dive deep, jump and flip trying to throw the hook and bait off, they will swim under the boat, wrap themselves around the anchor rope and anything else not to get caught.

Different fish, environments or seasons call for different bait or lures. Sometimes, the fisherman doesn’t know what will be attractive to the fish on any given day, and they try one after another until something works.

This is how temptation is. There’s different bait for different people, environments, and seasons in our lives. We may see someone falling for a temptation we would never think of falling for, and like with the bluegill, we think “what a stupid person to not see the hook in that temptation!” When we are small, young Christians, we fall for everything, we’re not smart, mature or strong enough yet to recognize and resist the old “bait” we loved.

Some of us are like northerns, we’re angry, or just looking for fun and go after the action, the fast moving stuff. Some of us are like walleyes. I think of the mature Christian as being a walleye, we think we’re being so careful, not seeing anything (such as a leader). We gently take a nibble, and then a bite, we run with it a while and we start to think that it’s a meal, not bait. We’ll get away with it, no one knows and we won’t get caught. Then, we get hooked!

After some time has gone by, there are some of us, maybe all of us that know what our particular “hooks” are. These are the weak areas in us we bite at and get in trouble with. These things we can‘t do, even though it may be all right for others. For example, some of us have certain addictions and we cannot even entertain the thought of tasting that certain something again. While other people do not have our same addictions and they can indulge, with no problem. We know what our “hooks” are, and yet, we still go for the bait. That bait still looks attractive to us, it smells good, sounds good, we know we will get hooked and we bite anyway. After we bite on these hooks often enough, there are times we can’t remove the hook; we get in denial about the hook. The size of our hook, how bad it’s stuck or the type of bait used doesn‘t matter, Jesus is the only one who can deliver us.

We may think these hooks, bait and temptations come from the enemy, but some of them come from us. James 1:14 says “But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed.” This tells me it is our own desires of the flesh that get us. I’m not saying that Satan does not tempt us, he does, he tempted Jesus in the desert. What I’m saying is we are the culprits who make it hard for ourselves at times. This verse also points out it’s not just some of us, but Each One of us is tempted. We are not alone.

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Hebrews 4:15-16

Jesus is always there for us and He understands. He’s there when we have hooks we can’t remove, when we’re in denial, and when we’re stuck in the cycle of sin. He’s there and He loves us. We can approach Him with confidence knowing we’ll find mercy and grace.

How Far I’ve Come

Isn’t it funny how God works? He works from the inside out, sometimes it is so slow and natural we don’t even see the change. Other times, He works so fast; it’s a miracle, a deliverance. I’ve experienced both of these ways of God in my life. About 6-8 months after I got saved, I one day noticed I didn’t swear anymore. I don’t know when it happened or how it happened, it just did. When I got off of drugs and drinking it was a genuine deliverance in my life. It seemed to happen quickly, but as I think about it, maybe it was a slow process, one I didn’t even know was going on inside of me until it manifested on the outside.

I read a book “Tired of Trying to Measure Up” by Jeff VanVonderen a few months after I quit smoking pot. Now I’m reading it again. When I first read the book I thought the author knew me and was writing the book about me. Almost every single word was exactly me! It was the best book; it really helped me to realize what, how and why I have the personality traits and behaviors that I do.

The book is about Christians who live under a deeply ingrained code of written and unwritten expectations and rules that shame them and drain them. It is for the perfectionist, people with low self worth, ones that were abused or shamed and the people who were addicted to any form of substance that allowed them to escape. Mostly it is about shame and how it affects us in our opinion about our relationships our behaviors and ourselves. It speaks about who we are in God’s eyes, what He created us to be, the freedom God’s grace brings and how to recognize what our coping skills are and how they do or don’t serve us in our relationships.

The first time I read this book, a friend borrowed it to me. I remembered the book being so true for me that I wanted my own copy. My church had a sale in the bookstore a few weeks ago and I bought it. I started reading it for the second time. I am only on the 3rd chapter and I can already see how far I’ve come. The opinions, behaviors and characteristics the book speaks of were 98% me the first time. Now, they are still in me, but healed to the point that they rarely show up anymore. My thoughts are different, my actions are different, and it’s a miracle!

“And all of us, as with unveiled face, because we continued to behold in the Word of God as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are constantly being transfigured into His very own image in ever increasing splendor and from one degree of glory to another for this comes from the Lord Who is the Spirit. II Corinthians 3:18

“And let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 2:6

“Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ” Philippians 1:6

If you ever think you are not moving spiritually, look back in your journal if you have one, read a book that described you, ask a trusted friend or pray and ask God to reveal it to you. I know you will be encouraged when you realize how different you are. God usually takes us through life’s lessons slowly and we are continually being transformed into His likeness.

Beauty for Ashes

God will give us beauty for ashes, joy for mourning and praise for
heaviness.

My job as a Housing Inspector II gives me many hours in my car. In
fact, most of my day is spent driving from inspection to inspection
in my district. This gives me lots of time for prayer, worship and
listening to teaching tapes, which I do over and over and over!

Today, I was out in my car driving around, listening to my favorite
Christian Contemporary radio station; K-LOVE and I heard a song that
I haven’t heard for a long time, “Beauty for Ashes” by Crystal
Lewis. I love this song, and I love the Bible verses that inspired
it.

The following is from Isaiah 61:
The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me, because the Lord has anointed
Me to preach good tidings to the poor. He has sent Me to heal the
brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the openings
of the prison to those who are bound. To proclaim the acceptable
year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort
all who mourn, to console those who mourn in Zion, to give them
beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise
for the spirit of heaviness. That they may be called trees of
righteousness, the planting of the Lord that He may be glorified.
(Vs. 1-3)

And they shall rebuild the old ruins, they shall raise up the former
desolations, and they shall repair the ruined cities, the
desolations of many generations… (Vs. 4)

Instead of your shame you shall have double honor, and instead of
confusion they shall rejoice in their portion, therefore in their
land they shall possess double; everlasting joy shall be theirs.
(Vs. 7)

These promises are so rich to me. God WILL rebuild all of the ruins
in our lives, He WILL give us double honor instead of our former
shame, everlasting joy WILL be ours. He WILL give us beauty for
ashes, joy for mourning and praise instead of heaviness. We WILL be
solid righteous people that He may be glorified! This is so
inspiring to me!

I started thinking about these promises and realized that in order
for us to fully experience the joy, praise, honor, and beauty; we
need to give to the Lord our shame, ashes, mourning and heaviness.
We cannot experience all that the Lord has for us and still carry
around with us all of our junk! We need to give it up, make it
ashes, and die to it! We need to take it all and lay it down at the
foot of the cross, and LEAVE IT there. Give it to Jesus, that’s the
reason that He died–for all that stuff, for our shame, our
heaviness, our mourning, all of it!

Here is a poem that the Holy Spirit inspired in me to write. It
speaks of some things that I needed to make into ashes and give to
Jesus. I pray that you be blessed by it.

BEAUTY FOR ASHES

Have you ever felt you’re crossed off someone’s list?
Just tossed aside – never to be missed.
And you thought you were so close,
A relationship that was unlike most.

One day you see them at a restaurant,
With old friends and what you really want,
Is to be accepted by them again,
And return to being a close friend.

The cold reality of it all sets in,
You realize it’s just somewhere you’ve been.
They’re moving forward – not looking back,
You’re part of the past, that’s a fact.

You shared your life, you feel betrayed,
You pray that feeling will somehow fade.
You turn to God; you want to know,
How to forgive and let this go.

You fear having close friends again,
You don’t want to let new one’s in.
The friends you have are precious and few,
You know (pray–hope) that they are really true.

Giving God our ashes brings beauty in return,
It’s a Kingdom principle we must learn.
Only when we lay our ashes down,
Does God provide beauty all around.

River of Living Water

O Lord You are worthy of our praise,
I observe Your creation and I’m amazed.
As dead as things might have seemed,
They are alive and turning green.

Trees are budding, flowers are blooming,
The sun is shining; it’s not so gloomy.
The birds and butterflies are here at last,
The long cold winter is in the past.
All around new life has sprung
A glorious season has begun

This is the way my life can go,
Some times are dormant, other times I grow.
Now is a time my spiritual life seems so dry,
I don’t even have the tears to cry.

I feel as though I’ve found my voice,
I am making a conscious choice,
To the river of living water, I bring my cup,
Knowing Jesus will fill it up.

He promises if I do my part,
And seek Him with all my heart.
I will find Him and there I can abide,
Always, forever, by His side.

Created by Design

Many years before I was born,
Jesus knew my shape and form.
With His loving ways, so divine,
He created me by design.

A beautiful, wonderful, piece of art,
Holding a special place in His heart.
Everything that God creates,
Is perfect, He makes no mistakes.

I am a masterpiece, still underway,
God will complete His work in me one day.
Until then, I need to be patient and kind,
Loving the imperfections of mine.