I’m Powerless

This last week has been really crazy for me. I’ve been reminded over and over just how powerless I am. How powerless we all are.

Last Monday, I was at North Memorial in Maple Grove with Bill. He was getting a test done as an outpatient. While I was waiting for him my niece called and told me my Mom had been taken to the Hospital by ambulance. She didn’t have any other information – just that.

I called and verified that my mom had just arrived in the ER and they were checking her out – they’d call when they had more information. So, when Bill got done we went from North Memorial in Maple Grove to North Memorial in Robbinsdale. The bottom line is that mom has a blood clot in her heart. She’s home now but she has a long road ahead of her yet.

Through this God has been showing me and teaching me many things:
• To live one day at a time; sometimes one moment at a time.
• To be fully present to each moment.
• I am powerless and I have to continually turn things over to Him – that’s been my entire week this week.
• He’s showing me just how precious each moment is and not to take anything for granted.
• He’s shown me the love He has for His children and that no matter how old we are – we’re still His children.
• That He gives us the strength and grace we need for each day – our “daily bread”.
• He’s shown me the importance of family and friends and that they really make a difference in our lives.
• He’s shown me the reality of “we can make our plans, but He directs our steps”
• that ultimately He’s in control. And we – are powerless.

Here’s a “physical heart-snapshot”
One of the cool things He showed me is the complex and unique way He has created us. I was in the room when Mom got an ultrasound done of her heart. At one point the image on the screen was like a little cone head person (you can tell I’m a 70’s SNL fan) I think there was more than one but I could really only see one (because of the size of the screen) and this little cone head person; was praising God! It was kinda like jumping jacks yet not really. It would raise it’s hands in praise and then back down to touch the other cone head person.

I really think it was her heart pumping and the valves letting the blood flow by and then blocking it again. I’m not sure. But to me, in that moment it was cone head people praising God. I just thought – wow, even our hearts praise God with every beat!

Jesus Loves Us in Unique and Special Ways

Wednesday I had a doctor’s appointment that I hadn’t really been looking forward to. (Although, who ever looks forward to doctor appointments?) Tuesday two friends of mine prayed for me and Wednesday when I woke up I was calm and peaceful; I was ready to go.

I always look on the top of the street light poles for red tail hawks and when I see one, I think it’s from Jesus. I think He’s giving me a special “hello, I see you, you’re mine” that day. Well, this day, as we’re driving to my appointment, I see a Bald Eagle on top of the street light pole!

Bald Eagles have always been very special to me. They’ve always been a sign, like a special gift from Jesus to me. There are times I ask to see them (and deer) when I’m up north and whenever I do, I thank Jesus right away and I marvel at their beauty and majesty. They mean freedom, strength, power, protection, beauty, peace, joy, watching over me and that everything will be OK. They are really majestic to me. Well, this day when I saw one; (IN THE CITY!!!) I knew Jesus was with me in a very special way.

I’m so thankful that I have a Lord and Savior who cares about me personally, who sees me, knows my name and loves me in a very unique and special way.

Hard Times Make Me Humble

For every one mile of road; the ditch equals two
Jesus, I’m grateful I’m on the road with You.
When I lose focus and drift to the side
Your gentle nudging is my guide

Many times I was in desperate need
And still; Your nudge, I didn’t heed
In the ditch, the price I paid
For following the plans I‘d made

When I had enough; I’d cry out to You
You were always there to see me through
You’d reach down and get me on my feet
With mercy and love we again would meet

In the ditch I learned important lessons
To seek You for answers and to listen
To obey and trust You to safely lead me
As we maneuver through my life’s journey

You don’t promise a bump free road
You promise to help carry my load
And to comfort me when I stumble
For hard times are what make me humble

Glimpses

Lord, open my eyes so I might see
Glimpses of You surrounding me.
You show Yourself in so many ways,
Beneath the surface of my life everyday.

If I’d only stop long enough to see,
What’s right here in front of me,
I’d soon live in a new reality
Bits of heaven would blossom in me.

With spiritual eyes things would be new
My everyday life would be colored with You.
I want to live my life in this way
Being fully present to You everyday.

Lisa

Lisa, to so many, you’ve meant so much
Everyone you know has received your touch
You show Jesus to the masses
Whether doing announcements
Or teaching classes

You call me to a deeper level of living
By watching you and seeing your giving
Your humble spirit and tender heart
Convict me to do my part

To live out of that place deep inside
That is present to people and doesn’t hide
To love people well and share the truth
Of God, there is no greater proof

Even when life’s seasons change
There’s one thing that still remains
Even though we’re miles apart
We can still be close in our heart.

A Father’s Love

If God is everywhere, why is it so much easier for me to see Him in nature? In nature, water, trees, rocks, animals; God’s fingerprints are all over! I hear His voice as it rustles the leaves in the trees, I can hear the wind coming from a long way off and it travels across the woods, getting louder and louder and finally it reaches me and my hair starts to blow and I feel the wind on my face. I know it’s God. The sun as it dances on the water, the sparkles it makes; I see God. I hear Him in the cry of the Loon as it echoes across the lake, the splash of the water against the rocks on shore. I see Him in the deer that comes out of the woods to the water to drink in the morning or when it’s standing along side the road. I feel Him in the canoe, gliding silently across the water. I hear Him in the silence. I see Him in the ferns that grow in the woods, the wild flowers along the water and the road. I see Him in the huge trees reaching up to the sky, the awesome rocks that are everywhere; the sky so blue, really blue, the white clouds huge and puffy floating along the sky, the blue of the water. The stars at night, so many yet He named each of them and He knows their names! He holds them in space and doesn’t let them fall or run into each other. I gaze and see stars and then look deeper and there are more, deeper still there are more, there are so many some are bright and twinkling, others are so small, some are so close to the tops of the trees, they look as though they are just hanging in space; and they are! I can see the galaxies, the milky ways where the stars are so close together, yet so far away; it looks like white is smeared across the night sky. I think about so many centuries ago people studied the stars and found the big dipper, little dipper, north star, etc. and today we can still see those same constellations, they haven’t changed! God keeps them, He made them, He put them where He wanted them to be and He keeps them. Just like us. He knows my name! He made me, He put me where He wanted me to be; in this generation, in my family, with my parents, the City I live in, it was all ordained and pre-planned by Him when He put me here; and He will keep me. What a thought!

I’ve been observing my husband Bill and how he wants to share who he is with his daughter, Stefanie. It reminds me of one of the first thoughts I used to have when discovering something new or visiting one of my old favorites, was the desire to share it with Tanya’s (my niece) kids. I wanted them to know me by knowing and experiencing what has formed me, what I like, what I consist of, what moves me at the core of me. They even caught on to it when I brought them to Duluth, Matthew looked at me and said “you just like to show us stuff that you like, don’t you?” Out of the mouths of babes! Yes, that was exactly right! So, I’ve been seeing Bill do that. Nature, seclusion, beauty, canoeing, hiking, etc. is a big part of who he is at the core and he wants to show it to Stef and share it with her, to have her experience it. It means so much to him.

I think God is like that; He loves me and wants to share with me who He is, what He consists of and what He loves. But, He is so big and since I’m human, I can’t possibly wrap my brain around all that He is and all He consists of. But, He shows me who He is at His core, His beauty, by showing me the part of Him I have my eyes open to. He shows me through the things I love, like nature and animals, seclusion, simplicity. And when my eyes are open, I see! It’s so true when we seek we will find. When I look, I see. He wants to show me who He is and wants to share Himself with me, but He can only do that when my eyes are open. Like with Bill and Stef, her eyes aren’t open to what Bill wants to show her, she just sees the surface of this and is bored; trees, rocks, water, gravel roads, all of them look the same to her and there is no drama here, it’s boring. It’s all the same. She doesn’t see what Bill wants to show her, she doesn’t see her Dad in all of this, and she doesn’t see God, her eyes aren’t open. But her eyes are open elsewhere, in the City, the concrete jungle. That’s God too, it’s just harder for me to see Him there.

Baptism Thoughts

It was a beautiful day for a baptism it was still nice out, the heat and humidity hadn’t set in yet. There was a service in the park building before going out to the lake for the baptism. The service consisted of music, introductions and testimonies from the baptism candidates. Each candidate had a sponsor who anointed them with oil and spoke a blessing over them. The service ended with all of us saying the Apostles Creed together:

I believe in God, the Father Almighty,
maker of heaven and earth,
and in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord:
Who was conceived of the Holy Spirit,
born of the Virgin Mary,
suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, died, and was buried.
He descended into hell.
The third day He arose again from the dead.
He ascended into heaven
and is seated at the right hand of God the Father Almighty,
from whence He shall come to judge the living and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy Christian church,
the communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body,
and life everlasting.
Amen.

Saying the Apostles Creed is not new to me, I grew up in a traditional Lutheran Church and we said the Apostles Creed every Sunday. I know it by heart and have said it many times before. But this time was different for some reason, the words really meant something to me and by the end of the creed, I had tears in my eyes.

I know what I believe and to be able to state what I believe to God, others and to myself is so rich to me. I needed to hear myself say this creed and to stand in a crowd of other believers saying the same thing. We have been discussing community at our church and wondering how to create an atmosphere or environment of community that others can enter into if they choose. This was community to me.

The part of the service held in the building ended and it was time to go to the waters of baptism. We sang one verse of “Grace Flows Down” in the building and continued to sing as we followed the baptism candidates and their sponsors out the door. It’s a public lake and beach and there were other people and families outside swimming and playing in the water and on the sand. They watched as we came out the building. It was such an awesome experience and I felt so close to Jesus as we walked to the water. We stopped on the shore and removed our shoes and the baptism candidates and their sponsors were led into the water. The rest of us were invited to step into the water as well, to remember our baptism, to show our support and belief and to be a community of believers.

I stood in water up to my thighs, watching from a distance as each pair stepped into the center of the circle and the sponsor announced “I baptize you:______________ in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit” and held them in their arms, lowered them into the water and then back up again. When each of them came up the first thing I noticed was a huge smile on their face and they wrapped their arms around their sponsor with a big hug.

Baptism is so special to me. I was baptized as an infant and when I was 37 I chose to be baptized again. I made the decision because I wanted it to be my decision. My infant baptism didn’t really hold any meaning for me because it wasn’t decided by me. My adult baptism was a way for me to be obedient to Jesus by making my beliefs public. Another thing it did for me was to show people I am willing to be held accountable for my actions. I have followed Jesus into the waters of baptism, I have died to myself and I want to live for Him and only for Him.

When Jesus was baptized there was a loud voice from heaven and the dove ascended on Him. This is the only time all three parts of the trinity were witnessed at the same place and time. This is a special occasion it was the beginning of Jesus’ ministry here on earth. God is pleased with us when we are baptized just as He was pleased with Jesus and in many ways it can be the beginning of our ministry here on earth.

God’s Gift

The Lord sent me a Valentine,
Whose love forever will be mine.
He will mold and shape us into one,
And guide our steps with His Son.

I never thought I’d learn to trust,
Or experience love instead of lust,
God worked to soften both our hearts,
And then our love got it’s start.

You look in my eyes and I begin to melt,
And feel these feelings I’ve never felt.
Bill, you’re God’s gift in this life of mine,
My true love, my soul mate, my Valentine.